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worst | best
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hans: best movie villain ever, there’s nothing cooler |
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ignatious: get iggy with it |
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mayo: way better than miracle whip.
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typhys: the one, the only…typhys!! |
happy: it’s so cute when you say, “happy, stop crying.”
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hysteria: oh the tantrums she will throw
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mumps: it’s one swell name
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hero: who wouldn’t love a baby named after a sandwich? |
bum: they all borrow money growing up, so why not?
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mary: she’ll be walking on clouds |
naught: sometimes you feel like a naught, sometimes you don’t
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bill: hopefully no one will ever run out on him |
jezebel: all the bad boys will love you
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emerson: proves that you’re well read without having to show your book collection
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nemo: always against the current
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henry: good candy bar and it’s fonzi’s real name |
| gwendolyn: so bad…it’s good |
tyranny: she’ll never have to worry about other kids stealing her toys
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| pharaoh: spoil him rotten or else |
madison: a born shopper, will have credit card number memorized by age 6
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maximus: born with a big sword
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miles: new york marathon, here i come |
pirate: don’t forget to put lime juice in his formula
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ace: future world poker champion |
homer: prefers donuts to teething rings
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cannon: a true son of a gun
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speck: unless he has pointy ears, then name him Spock
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harper: no one will question why they’re bizarre |
june: she’ll be a good mom, likely to marry a ward
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andromeda: the astrologer in you says, “yes”, the bad speller in you says, “no”
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dante: if he has a widow’s peak, you can call it dante’s peak
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aloha: it’s much better than, say, pineapple pete
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bart: make sure his rattle doubles as a slingshot
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elvis: load up on peanut butter and banana baby food
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rusty: after a bath, dry thoroughly
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abra: i wanna reach out and grab ya |
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